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Anna and Duke are on their honeymoon in Scotland, in an old manor house
which was not prepared for their arrival. A day in the great outdoors is cut
short by a rain storm, and the electricity is out. The run into the bedroom,
soaking wet and laughing.
Anna: I beat you!
Duke: Well, I did give you a three step start.
Anna: I know. I’m very fast on the stairs. Oh dear…
Duke: What is going on in here? That man has done absolutely nothing!
Anna: He’s made the bed, look. That’s nice.
Duke: I suppose that’s something.
Anna: It is.
Duke goes to turn on the light.
Duke: I don’t believe it. The lights don’t even work.
Anna: Well, it doesn’t matter. We’ll just have to camp out for a bit and rough
Duke: I don’t want to camp out for a bit and rough it. I brought you here on
your honeymoon. I want everything to be perfect. You understand? This is…
I can’t… this is ridiculous.
Anna picks up the flashlight and shines it on him.
Anna: I think you’re getting a little bit frosty.
Duke: Put some light on here for me, please.
He dials the phone.
Duke: We’ll soon see about this. “I’ll be back with my wife,” he said. Oh yeah,
Anna: I love this place you know.
Duke: (into phone) Hello?
Anna: It’s like a haunted house.
Anna: Thunder and lightning and…
Duke: What? I can’t… I can’t hear you, speak up!
Anna: Do you think there’s any creaky doors here?
Duke: (to Anna) Well, there might as well be. Everything else creaks! (into
phone) Speak up, I can’t hear you!
Anna: When I was a child, I used to go to all the Saturday movies and see all
the vampire ones.
Duke: (into phone) No… don’t tell me that!
Anna: Do you like horror movies?
Duke: What? Speak up!
Anna: I like this painting here, ‘cause the eyes move on it.
Duke: You did what?
Anna: They follow you ‘round the room.
Duke: No, I…
Anna: I wonder if there’s any secret passageways...
Duke: Oh, this is too much.
Anna: Do you suppose they made this house with secret passageways? It’s
where they used to keep the priests you know.
Duke: I can’t understand. This is ridiculous.
Anna: I’m gonna have to get out of these wet clothes. This absolutely
pathetic, I’m so freezing.
Duke hangs up.
Duke: The line’s just gone dead.
Anna: Did he say anything?
Duke: Well, he said we have no electricity.
Anna: Well, I could have told him that.
Duke: Yeah, so he went into town to get an electrician and then his car got
stuck in the mud.
Anna: Oh dear.
Duke: Yeah, oh dear. So well, welcome to the 18th century, Mrs. Lavery.
Anna: The 18th century was great… lots of compensations.
Duke: Yeah, no electricity, no lights. Probably baths that are that deep because
there’s no hot water.
Anna: There were no interruptions…
Duke: I wanted everything to be so perfect. I tried so hard.
Anna: It is perfect.
She walks over to him and kisses him. He smiles and takes her in his arms,
pushing back her hair for a passionate kiss.
Fade to black.
The room is now lit by candles and firelight. Duke stands by the window
watching the storm. He goes to the fireplace and picks up a red tartan, which
he begins to fold. Anna enters the room in a robe, towel drying her hair.
Anna: Hi. I left you some hot water.
Duke: Thank you. How do you mind taking a bath by candlelight?
Anna: (smiling) It was lovely.
He folds the tartan and tosses it over his shoulder.
Duke: There’s one last Scottish tradition we have to observe.
Anna: What’s that?
Duke: It’s where I officially make you a member of my clan. This is the tartan.
Anna: What do I do?
Duke: You don’t do anything. I get to wrap you in it.
Duke goes to Anna and with a sigh, begins to take her robe off.
Duke: It’s the official moment when everything I am, and my background, such
as it was, and everything I hope to be, I offer to you now…
Her robe drops to the ground.
Duke: …as my protection.
He wraps her in the tartan and smiles.
Duke: Welcome to the Clan Lavery. I give you my life. I give you my love.
A long look and then they kiss.
Fade to black.
Anna and Duke both stand holding each other by the window, watching the
rain. Anna is wrapped in the tartan.
Anna: The storm’s over now.
Duke: Yeah, it is. “So fair thou art, my bonny lass, so much in love am I. And
I will love thee evermore, ‘til all the seas gang dry.”
Anna: “’Til all the seas gang dry my dear, and the rocks melt in the sun. And I
will love thee still my dear, when the sands of life shall run.”
Duke: Very good.
Anna: See? I know it.
Duke: You’ve been sneaking looks at my poems.
Anna: Mm hm.
They kiss and walk over to the bed to lie down. He removes her tartan. Fade
Transcribed by Hazel